Cold Dawn
by Lily and Shadow
Summary: A tribute to Mello. Matt and Mello's final day. Companion to "Twilight Haze". *Spoilers!*


**A/N:** I'm not dead! I'm about 12 days late with this piece, but I didn't want to rush it. I wanted to wait for inspiration to strike so that it would actually be good. And inspiration struck with a vengence in the form of the song "Telescope Eyes" by Eisley. I cried writing this. This is Mello's piece. It's a companion to Twilight Haze.

This is my tribute to Matt and Mello, from Death Note. Wherever you are, may you finally be at peace. God speed, boys.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note.

* * *

Mello watched quietly as Matt finally woke and sat up. For two hours he had been crouched in the chair next to the bed, watching his hacker sleep. For two hours he had been running and rerunning scenarios in his mind. He could only pray that Matt would come out of this alive. As for himself, well, he would just have to trust that Matt could make it alone from here on out.

The Mafioso startled at the soft whimper from the redhead. Silently he moved to kneel behind Matt on the bed, wrapping his arms around his bare shoulders, pulling Matt back against him. He felt Matt's hands close desperately around his arms and buried his face in the gamer's shoulder, taking in the scent of solder and cigarette smoke that mingled strangely with a faint hint of cedar wood. For a few moments he just held the redhead like this. Then he shifted his grip and laid Matt back against the bed, shifting to slide his legs off beside him to sit next to the hacker, draping himself over Matt's chest and laying his head on Matt's shoulder. He nearly sobbed when Matt returned the embrace, an arm around his shoulders and a hand buried in his hair.

For nearly half an hour they remained locked in their desperate embrace. Neither moved or spoke at all, except to tighten their hold every so often. The small apartment was completely silent save for their quiet breaths and the occasional soft rustling of the sheets. It felt as if time was standing still, a moment more of peace before the coming storm.

Finally, reluctantly, Mello pulled away, letting go of Matt and getting to his feet. They dressed quickly and dove straight into preparations for their task, wanting nothing more than to finish as quickly as possible. Once all was laid out and discussed and checked and double checked and reviewed and checked again, the two of them curled up together on the couch in the sparsely furnished living room. Mello saw nothing of the cracked plaster of the walls, the beginnings of water stains on the ceiling, the battered condition of the furniture, or the assortment of papers and weapons laid out on the low table in front of them. All of his attention was focused solely on Matt. He held the gamer close, petting his hair and rubbing his back gently. He felt as though he was trying to get enough in this one final encounter to last him the rest of eternity. It was a futile attempt. He knew that there was no way that he would ever be able to get enough of Matt to even get him through the rest of today. He knew how this would end. He had made his peace with God; now all that was left was to make his peace with Matt. He knew he could not. He would never be able to let go of the redhead, even if he had all of time to prepare himself.

It was with a bitter trepidation that he led Matt out to the parking deck, his eyes straying back to the hacker every few seconds. Once they reached their vehicles, he caught Matt in one last, desperate embrace. One last chance to hold his most precious person close and take in his warmth and life, to feel him there and know that it had all been worth it.

"I've always loved you, Matt," the blonde whispered into the gamer's ear, trying to keep the brokenness he was feeling from showing in his voice.

"I know, Mello," he heard Matt reply. "And I'll always be with you, no matter what."

Mello tightened his hold for a few seconds at Matt's words, and then they drew back, touches lingering as long as possible, not wanting to separate. The blonde kept his eyes locked on Matt's until his hands fell to his sides. Then he moved to pull the cover off his bike as behind him he heard Matt's car door open and close. In silence he pulled his helmet on and then glanced over at Matt, feeling his heart ache as he caught Matt's gaze and held it for the last time. And then he flipped down his visor and started his bike and they were off.

For the first part of their journey, Mello hardly watched the road at all. Instead, he was watching his mirrors, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of the gamer in the car behind him. There was nothing he wanted more than to simply turn around and go home. He wanted to hold Matt close and just cry. It seemed so horribly cruel that after a life marked by violence and fear, he would have the one person who had made getting through it all worthwhile torn away from him in his final moments. Silently he recited every prayer he could think of, one last, vain attempt to redeem himself so that perhaps he could one day see Matt again in heaven. And then they reached the intersection where they were to part ways for the final time. Mello didn't stop. He just gunned the accelerator, knowing that if he hesitated at all he would never be able to do what he had to do. Still, he felt something inside him break as he wound his way off through traffic, finally losing sight of Matt's car.

He saw the smoke bomb go off in his mirrors and circled back into the chaos. There was Halle, as promised, and with her was Takada. He called out to them and Halle helped Takada onto the bike behind him. With a nod to the woman who had served him so loyally, he raced off before the reporter's bodyguards could stop him.

Everything after that was a blur. He arrived quickly at the delivery checkpoint at which he was supposed to pick up a truck and changed into a uniform. Quickly he loaded his bike into the back of the truck and unloaded Takada from the back of it. In a moment of what he knew to be stupid kindness, he allowed her to save her pride and keep her undergarments until he had handed her a blanket. Then he got behind the wheel and set off for his destination: a ruined church on the other side of the city.

As he cranked the truck, the small screen on the dash flickered to life. He set it to a local news station as he shrugged out of the uniform shirt and then they were off down the road. They hadn't been driving for more than a few minutes, however, when he heard something from the tiny monitor that sent a stab of pain through his chest as though someone had just ripped out his heart. There on the screen was an aerial shot of a red Camero surrounded by black cars and men in suits with guns. When the camera closed in on the ruined car, Mello could clearly see the body of a man, riddled with bullets, lying on the pavement. They had shot Matt.

"Matt…" he whispered brokenly under his breath, one hand straying up to clutch his rosary tightly. "I didn't think they'd kill you. I'm so sorry."

It wasn't for another few moments that he realized the pain in his chest was far more than just emotional. The pain of the heart attack ripped through the entire left side of his body as the church loomed into view, paralyzing him. Out of reflex he tried to stop the truck, but was unable. He was unable to do anything at all. He could barely even breathe.

Quietly he slumped forward over the steering wheel, no longer wishing to resist death now that he knew Matt was gone. Slowly his grip on his rosary loosened until his hand fell away, leaving the beads draped over the steering wheel. As blue eyes began to cloud, Mello finally let go, his last thought never finding voice as the light behind those eyes was snuffed out.

"I love you, Matt. God willing, I'll see you on the other side."


End file.
